How Not to get Bella in 10 Days
by chalk and cheese and jam
Summary: New Girl Bella Swan,captures the heart of Edward Cullen-forks highs fav nerd. Includes attempts, bets, make-overs flirting lessons and of course Edward's guide on how NOT to get Bella in 10 days. R R. Cullens are humans. normal pairings. enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey this is just a quick authors note: as you all well know this story is called "Edward's Guide On How Not To Get Bella In 10 Days"...but i'll probably just shorten it to how not to get Bella..Anyway.**

**I have written this story for my own amusement , if you like it great if not....tell me.**

**Disclaimer: i do not own twilight, but..contacts run deep. Though Somehow i doubt i have stephenie's phone number in my contacts.**

**EPOV**

It was there i saw her, ironically enough, bathing in the ray of sunlight coming in from one of our few library windows.

She was like an angel. And i longed for her, so very badly – her long mahogany hair, her beautiful deep eyes, which could keep you guessing for ages. Where they chocolate, hazel or coffee or even a mixture if the three?

And there was her pure, heavenly, cream skin scattered with a few freckles, most likely brought out by the sun from where ever she moved from, cause she didn't get them from here that's for sure.

Her cheeks were stained the most appealing and delicious red colour.

Her lips...looked kissable to put it bluntly, a pale rose pink in colour, evenly coated in some form of the stuff that supposedly tastes good that girls put on their lips in excessive amounts.

In her long slender hands was a book; Romeo and Juliet; and not a magazine like most of the other girls in school. She was smart you could tell by looking at her, but the book kind of gave it away, as it takes an awful long time for some people to understand Shakespearian.

Beautiful and smart, you don't get a lot of girls like those.

Would it be to obvious to say that "i'm going to do anything in my power to get her", she's not a piece of meat nor a toy like some people i knew for certain would treat her, if the angelic life form would have me.

I'm not every girls type, in fact there's a very few here in Forks that like me in a physical way. I'm a nerd. And people chose me for them to take the crap outta me, because i want to do well in life, i want to dress well without my jeans hanging half way down my ass, and i want to be able to provide for my family –if i ever have on, and decide not to become a hermit- not because i have to, because i would want to, and out of love.

Emmett and Alice, my brother and sister asked me if they would slip in and help me...not get beaten up, but i declined their offer it would just make me look weaker if i couldn't defend my self-which i can't but still, it would just make things worse.

I stood there for the duration of about ten seconds, approximately – staring at her. Whish i'm sure if she noticed would have freaked her out. But she didn't and most likely wouldn't as she had her perfectly proportioned nose stuck in that book of hers.

I stood there debating whether or not to go over there and introduce my self, but the real question was ; if i did go over there and she did talk to me (me of all people!) would i be able to form words to talk back?

But as always when it comes to girls, i prefer to admire from afar. I have my reasons;

-it's safer

-my very small ego won't take a very big hit, therefore i will have NO ego.

-i don't get smashed to smithereens by a older male family member (of the girls family)

-most of the time i don't want to for reasons above.

It still hurts though, when you go into Port Angeles , and all the couples are sitting and hanging out round the benches in the park showing some P.D.A's, and it really doesn't help when you know two of the couples are your brother and sister with their 'other halves'. It's just depressing and sad and lonely...dare i go on?

So walking away,most likely with a sour look on my face, this really brought my day down. Don't get me wrong meeting her was probably the best moment of my life even though i still haven't technically met her yet. It was the fact that i would never get to meet her which made me bitter.

Of course it may have slipped my attention, while i was watching her slender figure, that my shoe lace had become undone. It was most likely the reason for falling head or nose (your choice) into a shelf of very sore, very old hardback books, causing a domino effect and add in my whisper-shout cussing to the noise didn't really help to not attract attention to myself. It just added to the noise.

Why me? Why infront of her?

Over the pain of my now bleeding nose i heard what i assumed was her light and quick foot falls.

I pinched my nose and held my head my head back, closing my eyes tightly.

"hey, are you ok?"

Her voice came out softly, and it sounded faintly like wind chimes. To answer her question though no, i wasn't really ok, in fact why do you try this yourself and see if you come out unscathed. But if i said that she might just think i was a little bit of a douche.

Just i was about to answer though her breathing picked up.

"oh crap...please no....you're bleeding aren't you?"

Is wit not kind of obvious, i was pinching the bridge of my nose and my other hand was covered in the red liquid so called blood.

"yeah. Why?"

I looked up and got caught in her paralyzing gaze, though she looked different. More wild and panicked, her skin had turned much paler than before and a grey tinge to it. Not exactly the best sign.

She reached down and stuck her head in between her knees, while mumbling "cause when i smell blood i usually faint or throw up"

The blood had stopped dripping from my stained nose.

"it's okay, it's stopped bleeding"

"too late already got to me" she said swaying. She was right it was too late. Because the angel because the angel had already dropped to the floor, unconscious but breathing.

At least she wasn't sick.

That wasn't the best first impression.

**So what did yous think?**

**Question: which one of chalk and cheese and jam do you think write this?**

**Will probably not update until i get some reviews. It's a fair exchange i have to do comprehension –it's not even homework- for yous, is it not fair that iet to hear what you think. It only takes like 1 seconds of your day!**

**Love**

**Someone from chalk and cheese and jam.**

**x**


	2. just a small case of kidnapping

Edwards guide on how not to get Bella in 10 days

**AN: I'm so stupid I've just realized that this story is called how not to get Bella in 1 days, when it should actually be Edward guide on how not to get Bella in 10 days...anyway now that I've cleared that up on with the story!**

Chapter 2 : just a small case of kidnapping

Epov

Question:

What would you do when the new girl (who you like...in masses) faints on you in the middle of a now wrecked, and pretty much deserted-except-for-mrs .cope –who –only-has-a-few-years-left-in-her, library.

Answer?

Pass

They don't exactly cover this in the student hand guide.

Somehow though i ended up at my locker- her body slumped against the wall – and NO i wasn't going to over obsess with her and lock her in my locker so that i could keep her for ever..now that i think about it she might ACTUALLY fit in there...it safe to say that i've crossed the line. This is why i have will power for a reason.

Think Edward think. Use all that unwanted brain juice that won you plenty of awards on prize day.

Nothing. Nothing acceptable anyway.

School nurse.

No. Has an infatuation with my father and uses me to get information. Keeps Cullen siblings hostages to see dad. Not an experience i want to repeat.

My brilliant brain came up with NOTHING.

For the first time in my life i was stumped.

It's times like this that i use Bree, my beloved Volvo and my music to brood in.

Wait a second. Processing my thoughts quickly, like gears in clockwork. Bree...the Volvo..that's it!

**Was gonna end it here but then decided against it so on with the story...**

Bpov

My head hurts.

The sharp pain located in my mind dulled after what seemed like ages and i could feel my senses coming back to me ,when the pain became slightly more bearable.

My fingers moving on the leather of the library floor? That does 't seem right.

I opened my eyes to sleepily. Ugh! I really need to get more sleep at ni-

"aaaaaaarrrrrrrr gggggggghhhhhhh h!" i let out a piercing scream, which didn't help with my head, as i registered that i was in someone elses car, and that person was right beside me.

In movies when something like this happens it happens in slow motion. I can tell you now it does NOT happen in slow motion. It was more in the opposite thing happening, like a burst of speed. An adrenaline rush. You can Google it.

So during my first adrenaline rush! Exciting huh? I chose to defend myself which seeing as i didn't have any weapons i had to resort to using my fists.

I'm pretty sure that to an onlooker i would have looked like a complete girl; my eyes squeezed shut and my fists hammering of my attacker's surprisingly muscular body.

"would you just calm down!" my evil kidnapper shouted in between hits.

"Calm down? Calm down! You freaking kidnapped me you stupid, stupid, STUPID girl -napper!" i panted out my voices screeching so many octaves higher. I found that hitting him repeatedly was rather tiring. So that meant, as stubborn as i am, i kept going.

"ow. Ow .ow!"

I hope it hurts!

I want answers! grrrr!

"who are you!"

"what do you want with me!"

"Where are you taking me!"

I could see his mouth moving but my rush had gone and my paranoia kicked in and i didn't get the chance to hear any of the answers to my well demanded demands. I had never seen him before in my life and there isn't many faces in forks...

What if he's a serial killer!

What if he's like an alien from signs using my attackers body as a host! (SM)

What if he has a gun!

What if he raped me while i was out!

What if he's going to kill me! I'm too young to die!

What if he's going to force feed me Brussels sprouts! Nooooooo!

What if he's a terrorist and he's keeping me hostage!

What if he's some scientific crazy freak that ran out of lab rats and decided to use me instead! Oh my gosh!

What if..!

"i'm Edward Cullen..i'm a student at forks high?"

Oh! Maybe not then.

**Hey i'm really sorry that i haven't updated at all recently, though i have been doing my exams...yeah that' not much of an excuse cause i've been reading fanfic every night anyway.**

**But i'm now 14! I'm no longer a widdle 13 year old. (Alison and Victoria.. take a HINT! And stop calling me that!) any how in our revision sessions i kinda pulled this together and here we are.**

**The Edward attempts (to get b) have not started yet but they will soon i just have to get this stuff out of the way first.**

**R and R please**

**X**

If the guy/girl you liked fainted on you and you didn't know what to do with her/him would you kidnap them/ think about shoving them into you locker so you could keep the for eternity?


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